Hiya gang, it's been a long time since I sat down and subjected myself (and you by proxy) to a session of self indulgent ranting and pseudo thought processing. It's like thinking but progressive and on my computer screen!
So, a couple weeks back i got hit by one hell of a case of glandular fever and since then I've been too fucked up to think straight... or at all really. I have spent an incredulous amount of time sleeping, resting and varying degrees of both. Normally I would have trouble getting my brain to stop ticking, but with the whole sickness thing, thinking itself consumes far too much energy and just doesn't seem to be propagating of it's own accord anyway. Which sucks, cause the power to think separates me from the bogans. That and my leet drawing skillz, like a fish!
As much as the prospect of doing sweet fuck all appeals to me (really, what isn't appealing about pay TV, reclining chairs, good food and a warm bed?) I have come to realise something; I am missing something. Firstly, it's not the remote. It's purpose, I believe. Earlier this year when I was working on the Axeman music vid (been sent off to Amebix in Ireland for editing, BOOYAH!) there was always this driving need to animate more, to get stuck in and really give it my all. There was a sense of purpose.
I think this is something that Shawn Kelly harps on about. You gotta love animating.
It's something that I feel needs some extrapolation; mostly on the word 'love'. Love is the only word we have for the sensation of the combination 'admiration, happiness, adoration' and what ever other sappy crap you can think of. I have been told that the ancient Greeks had several words for the different kinds of love found out there, be it brotherly sexually emotionally or the love of a pursuit. Whether there is an appropriate word for this or not, the kind of love that you need for a craft like animation is something more of a respect. Like a mountaineer looking at Mt Everest, you have to respect the craft for what it is and what it takes to 'conquer' it, or even rise to the challenge.
Me personally, I think it's the challenge that I love. Can I do this? Do I have what it takes to make this awesome? Am I going to give it one hell of a go? HELL YES!
I've dealt with a lot of shit in the last two years, more so than I would have thought tolerable in any other circumstance, but now I understand why I haven't relinquished my struggle and why I won't desist. I love the challenge too much. I see people building houses, selling clothes, counting beans and flying jets for hours on end and I don't envy them. I've worked a 'real' job before for several years and do you know what? IT SUCKS! It blows big time. I have animated at Tafe for 8 hours or so a day, came home and animated for another 3 or 4 before heading off to a part time job and I was happy as Larry.
So, there it is. The confession of an animation student who loves the challenge of animating. It's the love of the challenge that makes me want to keep learning to keep producing, to practice, to perfect, to give it everything I've got. At one time I may have thought it weird to really feel a passion for something like this, but fuck it and fuck you if you have a problem with it.
Bring it the fuck on.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
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